Posted by: ayrshirehealth | October 15, 2014

Thanks from a relative by @ninamcg77

Thanks from a Relative

Hospital can be a daunting place for individuals. They may have fears and anxieties from the reason of admission to being separated from their loved ones.  ICU bedMedical and Nursing Professionals do their very best to put them at ease and inform them of their planned care.

However, what happens to their relatives? The ones left behind. The ones with whom they depend on a day to day basis. These are the people that they want to see most, to share a smile and a reassuring hug. Visiting time can’t come fast enough. These people also have anxieties.

The ‘Must Do’ with me

Person-Centred Care is at the forefront of NHS Scotland 2020 Vision. As practitioners we continually aim to improve the patient care journey. Pple at CentreUsing supportive measures such as “The Must Do With Me” and “Getting To Know Me” booklet allows us to gain insight into a patient’s life and what is important to them. This allows us to deliver holistic care, focusing on the person not the disease.

screen-capture-20In Crosshouse Intensive Care Unit, as with others, we strive to ensure that relatives are supported as much as the patient themselves.

This was reflected in a recent poem written by a mother of a patient in Intensive Care.

It captures clearly the journey of relatives from admission through to discharge.

A Relative’s View

You arrive with your life shattered and feelings of despair

How are you going to cope, who will be there to care?

Your senses are numbed, what are you going to do?

With close family by your side waiting on some news


You are falling apart inside and your heart may be breaking

Sitting down outside, worrying and shaking

How long will it be before I know the score?

Then, someone rushes through the door


You feel a bit ignored as no-one wants to stop

To tell you anything as you gaze at a watch or clock

The reason you don’t realise, is that they are trying to save a life

Your loved one, relative, child or wife!


All of the equipment that you have not yet seen

Is being placed and connected to your precious human being

It takes time to do, which you don’t appreciate

Don’t take it out on staff, Love them, Don’t Hate


They will show their faces and talk to you soon

To update on their progress and what it means to you

Please wait with patience; they’re trying their very best

To put your loved at ease while they are in distress


The waiting is then ended as someone comes to tell

With quietly spoken voices, the outcome of your hell

They tell you as it is, in a manner quietly spoken

With care and love, for they know your heart is broken

  ICU equipment

They warn you what you will see as you go in there

Pipes, tubes, equipment surrounding everywhere

It will be a shock the first time that you see

That person that you love as helpless as can be


You are treated at all times with dignity and respect

Reassurance given as you are told what to expect

They explain the equipment and what each bit does

What they are doing, without causing a fuss


With 12 hour shifts during day and night

An answer to our questions, they try to shed some light

Constantly monitoring and machines to record

What happens each hour at our bed on the ward


Whether your loved one stays for one day or two

Many weeks or months, they will see their job through

With so many faces changing each shift

You soon realise their work is a gift


These are the people who looked after my daughter

Treated us as a family and became part of our life

They work hard each shift, assigned to a bed

Giving answers to all that I questioned or said


All with good humour to match a serious side

A laugh and a joke, with whom you can confide

The angels and protectors around these verses

include, Doctors, Consultants, Registrars, and Nurses

Not enough words can express how we feel

About these people who helped us to heal

From Cleaners to Clerks, Nurses of all ranks

Doctors of many kind, we would like to say THANKS.


Who Matters to Us

If we flip the “Must Do With Me” core principles around and utilise them for staff, I think we would all say that patients and relatives are “Who Matters To Us”.

This week’s blog was written by @ninamcg77 (Nina McGinley) who is a staff nurse in the Intensive Care Unit, University Hospital Crosshouse- with Thanks to the writer of the poem.


  1. What a touching peom from this relative…such praise for the dedicated staff in our wards.

    • It applies to all ward areas. I think it would make a good addition to our information booklets.
      It certainly pulled at our heart strings.

  2. Many thanks for sharing your story and the poem written so well by a Mum.
    loved your flip of “Who matters to you”

    • Thank you Ruth for your kind comment.

  3. What a moving read of the patients journey through the eyes of a relative. Thanks for sharing this Nina

  4. Thanks Stephanie.

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